Whew

So we're back from vacation.  Make that vacation round 2.  I realized yesterday that I think we've only been at church a handful of Sundays in the past two months in between hiking around Ireland and taking weekend trips to Bentonville and flying off to Seattle and Vancouver for a week.  I love traveling and I love adventures but I also like sleeping in my own bed and eating food I cook, especially when it means I can eat some veggies now and then.  Something about vacation food makes me happy only for the first five minutes of eating it and then I wish I were eating from my stash of apples and peanut butter or KIND bars that I always seem to have laying around in the comforts of my own home.  Note to self: try and back better snacks next time I go on vacation.  But here's the thing, in between finishing up stuff at work, tidying up the house, making sure Noah was going to be with a responsible adult the entire time we were gone, writing out Noah's current schedule and eating habits, making sure the doctor had all the right signatures on file in case something went wrong while we were gone, grabbing our passports, and remembering to pay for the HomeAway place we were staying in Vancouver I sort of missed the part about snacks for myself to make sure I stayed happy.  Good thing Seattle and Vancouver have lots of yummy coffee shops.

I'm learning about what I like on vacations.  I've decided the less people the better.  Not the less people traveling with me, just the less people wherever we are going.  I say the more the merrier in our traveling party.  Wow I sound like I'm out of Downton Abbey.  Also I like sunshine.  And mostly outdoors things with a little reading in a coffee shop thrown in.  And staying in apartments or condos where you can cook some of your own food or at least have a stash of fruit in the fridge.  I like having a little bit of a plan but not having the days so jammed packed you can't change things if you think of something better to do.  Also I'm really attached to my latte.  Also the less times I have to move my suitcase the better.  I have never wished we did more on vacation but I have definitely wished we did less.

Also I feel permanently scatter brained right now and it stresses me out.  I feel like I have to do lists everywhere and yet when I try and remember what I'm supposed to be doing right now it escapes me.  On the trip to Vancouver I kept trying to remind myself that God doesn't expect me to have it all together.  In fact he expects the opposite so I should probably try and be more gracious to myself in light of how gracious he's been to me.  Not sure if that makes any sense.  Basically I was trying to remind myself that I just started a job again and I'm balancing a whole new set of tasks and it makes perfect sense that I haven't cancelled my YWCA membership even though I have no intention of going there now that I'm back at work (don't worry I'm switching to a new gym right by work).  It makes perfect sense that I haven't eaten as many veggies in the past month.  It makes perfect sense that I'm feeling more anxious.   It makes perfect sense we forgot to take the trash out for two weeks straight or that I have lettuce growing in my garden I haven't had time to pick.  Basically my expectations for myself are (as usual) way too high and it only adds to the stress.  So I'm trying to cut myself some slack.

On that note I'm off to watch some netflix.  And maybe eat some ice cream.

I did run in the rain today during my lunch break and it was awesome.  I jumped in some puddles and splashed water off of tree branches and probably looked like I was mentally disturbed but it made my day so much happier.

Life Lately

Well I'm three weeks into working full time, at least full time in the office.  In a lot of ways it's much easier than being home with Noah all day.  I can go to the bathroom when I want and without a small human hanging on my leg.  I can eat lunch approximately when I want to (unless I'm called into a lunch meeting which happened multiple times this week).  I have a to do list and for the most part I'm the only one determining whether or not it gets done in a timely matter.  How much I accomplish isn't dictated by Noah, it's dictated by myself with the occasional input from my boss.  I realize as I'm writing this I have a pretty autonomous job and that it wouldn't be this way at every job, but for me I do pretty much decide what I spend my time on.  Oh and I can walk to get coffee when I need a break.  And I can work out on my lunch break.  And I can leave in the morning without putting much thought into what is packed in my purse.  As long as I have my keys and my money I should be fine till five o'clock.

On the flip side it's tricky trying to squeeze the rest of my to do list into a few hours after work.  And that doesn't even include the fact that I'd like to spend time with Noah enjoying him and doing things that are enjoyable for him instead of just running a million errands.  That and I still want time with Spencer.  Thank goodness for babies that go to bed at 7:30 pm.  I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do when Noah wants to stay up till 9!!  I feel like we are adjusting pretty well though.  I try to throw in a load of laundry whenever I think about it, especially on the weekends.  We'll fold it while watching a show on netflix or amazon prime after Noah's sleeping.  We've been getting groceries on Sunday afternoons which makes for a fun little outing with Noah, and I just try and do a little picking up every night before going to bed.  Plus, Kathryn keeps the house pretty clean throughout the day anyway!  So it's really just mine and Spencer's messes we are cleaning up at night, not Noah's piles of toys.

So it might still be too early to tell, but I think this is going to work for us.  At least for the immediate future.  Noah gets to be Kathryn's little buddy for the summer and when she has PhD stuff Gigi and Pops get him, so seriously it doesn't get much better than that :).  And I get to use my brain and interact with adults and make some money and carry a purse and when I get home at the end of the day I'm excited to see Noah and hang out with him and Spencer instead of being worn down from being alone with Noah all day and wanting a break from him.

Also one other thing!! They switched our schedule to 9 hours monday through thursday with a half day on Friday!! I think it's going to be pretty awesome once I figure out how I'm ever going to cook dinner after that long of a day.  I'll get to have lunch with Noah every Friday and then spend the afternoon hanging out with him and hopefully still get to take trips to the zoo and the splashpad with other moms.  And plus it gives me a little down time when he's napping - like right now :).  I prayed during the process of thinking about coming to work that it would be really clear whether or not I was supposed to be working again in the office and so far all signs are pointing to yes.  Peace of mind is a wonderful thing.

Two Days In

So far so good.

I left for work at 7:30 am on Monday morning.  Noah didn't cry.  I didn't cry.  Kathryn wasn't crying when I got home at 5.  Noah was laughing when I got home and grinning from ear to ear.  Work is already so crazy I barely have time to look at what time it is, let alone think about missing Noah.  They know I already know how to do things, so they just starting spewing things on me left and right which is mostly okay.  I hate being bored.  And I like accomplishing concrete tasks. 

I didn't eat lunch until almost 3 pm this afternoon but that was mostly because I decided to try running at lunch and by the time I threw my hair up in a pony tail and got dressed again my hour lunch break was up.  By the time I was actually hungry and had a break in what I was working on it was somehow 3 pm.  And then it was somehow 4:45 pm and I had only gotten through one main thing on my to do list in between trips to HR to make sure I'm signed up for benefits and trips from IT to make sure my computer was set up right (they asked me if my laptop had been out on a rig ummm no but I do have a one year old and a dog and I don't make a habit of dusting my laptop) and random stops in the hallway to say hi to people I haven't seen in a year.

Tomorrow is this little man's birthday.  How did that happen?!  He's crazy.  And we love him.

And just in case you're worried the stove was pulled out and unplugged by Spencer, not by Noah.  And now it is plugged in and working again and Noah is not standing on it, he's sleeping.  Goodness what kind of parents do you think we are?! :)

We're Back!!!

We had a really good trip.  Most of the time we were glad Noah was with us.  He was really happy and smiley and looked around wide eyed at everything when we were hiking and plus I mean he looked adorable in his rain coat.  He didn't really want to sit through nice dinners with wine though.  Lesson number 1 learned: leave the nice dinners out for when you can handle a baby sitter.  Self catering cottages where you can cook your own dinner with your baby crawling around instead of throwing food across the table and knocking over your wine glasses or reaching for the knives make for a much more relaxing environment for everyone.

Just a few more of my favorite pictures from the trip.

Noah in the Glenariff forest.

Looking for fish with dad.

Standing precariously by a waterfall.

And well this was my attempt at taking an artistic picture but Noah was so active this was the best I could do :).  It was an old school post office drop box at the Bushmills' distillery.  Noah wasn't allowed to go on the actual tour because of the alcohol fumes so I watched him crawl around outside while Spencer learned all about whiskey.

So I go back to work Monday.  I'm not sure what to expect and it's just making me feel anxious.  I want it to be here so I can tackle it and figure out how to make it work instead of having to think about how things might go without really knowing what it will be like.  I've been running errands this week trying to simplify life.  Just little things like buying a drying rack for clothes so I don't have our lululemon drying on the dining room chairs for a week before I have time to put them away.  I gave away two giant bags of books and I have three more still to give away, one to Spencer's mom and two to the church library.  I decided that thinking I would reread all my RUF books was really rather pretentious.  Who am I kidding.  On vacation I read the Happiness Project  and The Book Thief and even with that light reading I still had to reread things after keeping Noah from touching the wood burning stove or changing the controls on the washer/dryer combo in the cottage kitchen.

Also I bought milk for Noah.  Real milk.  And I felt nostalgic for maybe the first time, like really nostalgic, like oh no he's not a baby any more!!  Which in most respects is totally okay with me but at the same time it's just odd to think almost a year has passed since he was born.  He's almost walking, he says momma and dadda (mostly only when he wants more food or wants to be held), he gives us hugs and clings to us when he doesn't want to go to bed or doesn't want us to leave.  He has an opinion about what food he wants and he totally knows that it's not okay to drop food off his high chair for Blitzy when he doesn't want it and does it anyway.

He is also fearless.  With new people and with new experiences which I think is amazing and also a bit overwhelming.  He's going to be the kid with a million bumps and bruises.  He climbed up on some kid furniture at the gym yesterday and promptly fell off it and got a big bruise.  I'd say they weren't watching him but he does the same thing all the time at home! And who am I kidding I don't watch him 24-7.  I let him crawl in the next room and explore and I keep cooking dinner or folding laundry or looking at facebook and texting.  Which by the way, I keep seeing these things about putting down your phone and for the most part I totally agree.  I wish I were on facebook less and involved in what's right in front of me instead but at the same time being a stay at home mom is LONELY.  And being able to text your friends and comment on their cute baby pictures makes the day go by much more pleasantly and makes you feel more human.

Wow this is a random post.  Let's see I've also been trying to go through all the piles of random junk we have and throw stuff away!!  I cleaned the medicine cabinet baskets out this morning.  I went through an end table we never use yesterday.  I cleaned out the car.  I'm planning to find a jewelry box today so our dresser isn't so out of control.  Basically I'm taking one thing from that Happiness Project book and trying to declutter so when I'm stressed about balancing work and Noah and still enjoying life I won't be staring at a pile of trash we never bothered to actually throw away.

I just tried to make cookies for community group and the oven wouldn't preheat.  Lame.  This happened once before but I can't remember how to reset it.

Okay I'm off to cross some more things off my de clutter list.  If only I could knock out my work clothes shopping with Noah but I think that'll have to wait for Saturday when Spencer can have Noah for a bit and I can try to find some office appropriate clothing.  Not buying business casual for almost two years has done a number on what I have to wear to work on Monday.

Go to Ireland.  Just do it.  It is so beautiful.  Even in the gloomy rain.

Beautiful Day

Noah decided to take a two hour nap this afternoon which he never does anymore.  And it's amazing.  I finished up my part time work yesterday (only three weeks till I'm back in the office full time!!) and we were pretty much all packed last night other than one more round of cleaning out the car and unloading the dishwasher so I've had time to pick up clutter and load the suitcases in the car and take a shower and read a chapter of my book for the plane.

And it's beautiful outside.  And this morning I drank a latte and shared a fruit cup with Noah at Topeca.  Then we planted tomatoes and a pepper and Noah got wet in the sprinkler when I was cleaning up the garden tools.  Then we dropped off a baby swing with a friend who's five days away from her due date and as I was pulling away I thought wow am I glad I don't have a newborn right now.  My memory of those sleepless nights and complete confusion and upheaval of my life is still too fresh.  Okay wait back to our beautiful day.  After that we had a picnic outside Whole Foods with another fruit cup and some delicious kale greens cakes - Noah loves them almost as much as me, I'm not even kidding!  Although to be fair he loves blueberries and blackberries way more than kale cakes.  Then we hit up the sale rack at lululemon and found a good deal on some long sleeve super comfy pullovers that will be perfect for the long plane ride :).  And I do realize a good deal is relative :).  We enjoyed a little more sunshine at Utica Square while we waited on ear infection medication just in case something goes wrong while we are over the ocean, but so far Noah seems good to go and the Dr. said he's ear drum was all healed up when we saw her on Monday.

So yes it was a lovely day and I wasn't even expecting it.  I was expecting the trip excitement to be the best part but actually we've just had quite a beautiful day enjoying the sunshine and enjoying some mommy son bonding over a couple of fruit bowls. Haha wow cue the cheesy music.  Oh wait it's already playing in the background on Spotify.  Thank you Better Than Ezra for "Crazy Lucky" even if you did rhyme "it" with "s&*%" (they bleep it out in the song . . .) and still get paid to write music.

Sprinkler baby.

Fruit bowl loving baby.

Almost There!!

We leave for Ireland tomorrow night!!!  It feels a little surreal now that it's actually happening.  I think we're ready but there's always that last minute nagging feeling that you are forgetting something.  I've been putting things on sticky notes all day.  Nothing too major, just things like grab hair bands or get Noah's PJ's out of the dryer before we leave.  Babies make your packing list so much longer!  And it's way more overwhelming thinking about forgetting something.  I'm fine if I don't have a clean shirt when I step off the plane in London but if Noah has a blowout mid flight and we're not prepared that's a different story.

But I mean look at that face- it's going to be a good trip.  We're going to hike and cook food in our cottage by the sea and drink whiskey and read and hopefully it won't rain every day.  And we'll be together for 10 days without bills to pay or a job to go to or toys to pick up.  And it'll be green.  And we'll see castles.

Now if this little mischievous man would sleep the whole flight over we'd be happy campers.  It's going to be his nighttime but as the lady at the gym told me this week, he is go go go all the time!!  He's a happy little guy but he does not like to sit still!  Good thing his Gigi got him some new toys for plane ride and I got a roll of painters tape after reading on a blog that it can entertain for hours with no mess.  Ireland here we come!!!

But not before a little Irish Apple Cake I decided to whip up to get us in the mood!

Is It Saturday Yet?!!!

So Saturday I'm headed to Dallas for a much needed girls' trip.  The kind with no agenda other than drinking margaritas, shopping, sleeping in and not carrying a diaper bag or a baby.

Today was just one of the days.  So full of ups and downs that it makes you feel a little (ok maybe alot) bipolar.  Is there another word for that, that doesn't make light of the actual condition?  Okay anyway Spencer went to St. Louis yesterday for a one day conference.  Just a one day conference and I really thought no biggie.  Until last night around 6 pm Noah started screaming when I put him in his car seat to go get pizza and a salad for sharing with a girl from church who was going to keep me company.  He kept screaming the whole time I was in the car running errands for over 45 minutes.  He screamed on the way to drop off Tara.  He screamed on the way to get pizza.  Stopped screaming only briefly while we walked in to get pizza (thank goodness).  Screamed on the way to the liquor store.  I left him screaming in the car to get a bottle of wine - don't worry I left the car running, locked the doors and the store has giant picture windows and I was literally no more than 20 ft. from the car at all times.  Screamed the whole way home. Screamed through eating his pizza (that should have been a tip off). Fussed his way through a half a bottle.  Screamed in his crib.  Slept one hour and then woke up screaming again!  I rocked him to sleep thinking shoot this tooth is a doosy and then he slept through the night.

Whew I thought okay that was crazy but we'll be okay.  So then I woke up this morning and Noah was all happy and smiley and back to his normal self.  Almost.  There was stuff coming out of his ear!!!  Like crusty gross brown stuff out of the same ear he had an ear infection in less than two weeks ago.  So I decide to call the doctor, but I have to wait till 8 for the office to open so I proceed to get ready to go to coffee with a friend and Noah is crawling around in his diaper happily.  Then I see poop on his leg (sorry should have said this post contains gross baby stuff haha).  So we have an impromptu bath at 8:15 am.  I go to get him dressed and think man the room still smells like poop!  Then I see the pile of poop on the floor.  And I'm thinking this is almost funny it's not even 8:30 in the morning yet!!!!!  Clean up the poop.  Run out the door to meet my friend.  Sit in the car outside the coffee shop and make a doctor's appointment for 10 am.

All the while I'm remembering that I have a business charity lunch I'm supposed to be at, at the nicest country club in tulsa (think yearly fees more than what most cars cost) by 11:30 am.  And I have to look country club cute whatever that means.  So I go to coffee, then run home, grab my version of country club cute and throw on my boots with heels thinking this will be one less thing to have to worry about last minute after the doctor's appointment (also Tulsa is having that crazy weather where at 8 am I want to wear Uggs and by 10 I'm sweating and wishing I had on flipflops).  So I get to the doctor's office with about seven minutes to spare.  I hurry up and grab all my stuff, walk in the door, and promptly completely wipe out from my boots with heels in front of a big picture window into the doctor's office waiting room.  Again I'm almost laughing but now also almost crying considering I almost dropped Noah in front of the doctor's office and instead slammed my knee and palm into the ground to keep from totally flailing.

We get in the exam room and Noah poops again.  I rummage through my bag and go figure I have no diapers left - I feel like I should have been on Punked!  Did anyone even watch that?! Haha.  So I find the nurse, admit I have no diaper, she's totally sweet about it and pulls one out of giant cabinet of diapers.  We finally see the doctor at 10:40 and yep he has a ruptured ear drum.  And we leave for Ireland in 16 days.  The meds take 10 days and we have already done one round that didn't work, but I didn't really have time to even think about that today.

So then I rush to Shari's, drop off Noah, change clothes, rush over to the country club, have my car valet parked (note to self don't do this when you have no cash and no idea what to tip a free valet man), and get inside just to sit down for the luncheon.  And then the speaker is a woman who was homeless.  homeless.  and then finished high school and went to Harvard.  Talk about perspective.  And all the while they are also talking women changing the world and I'm on the verge of crying from exhaustion and stress and feeling like I know in my head taking Noah to the doctor is changing his world but it's a far cry from graduating TU and getting a fancy job in an office with a view.

The afternoon was better.  Noah slept some and then we walked around the Brady District soaking up some sun and window shopping oh and picking up some veggie toppings from a downtown market for pizza tomorrow!!  I feel so hipster with my baby in an ergo picking up a few groceries from the urban market haha.  Oh and I was also carrying a barista made latte in the other hand.  Yes I can rock the ergo and a latte and groceries - that is my talent these days :).  Okay that really wasn't supposed to be tongue in cheek, it really is hard to do all those at once!  We had a nice dinner of leftover salad and pizza (me) and watermelon (Noah - who refused to eat the avocado I also put on his tray) and then I let Noah play in the kitchen while I wrote part of this blog and cleaned up dishes and laundry.

And now he's sleeping.   And I can take a shower in peace.  And work on a powerpoint in peace.  And think about how I'm happy I'm not homeless, okay really I'll be thinking about how I'm happy I'm going on a girls' trip in two days.  I can't quite handle the thankfulness for not being homeless today, maybe tomorrow.  

Day of Reckoning

Well tomorrow morning is the half marathon.  I kind of wish I could back out but at the same time I did all the training and didn't walk on any of my long runs and didn't stop either, other than to tie my shoe or get a quick swig of water from the water fountain - I am NOT hard core enough for the water belt things haha, so I should be ready.  I have 45 minutes left on my audiobook to help me get in the groove plus a bunch of podcasts plus Rach is here and we can talk for quite a while and still have things to talk about, so we should be good!  Also, it's supposed to be perfect running weather.  Can you tell I'm trying to convince myself it isn't going to be that bad?!!

Also, how is it already April? One week till girls shopping trip to Dallas!  Three weeks till Ireland!! Five weeks till I start work!  And six weeks till Noah turns one!! Okay enough exclamation points.  But, seriously that's a lot of craziness and partying all at once.  I think I'm ready though.  I've been working on all the paperwork and tax stuff for a nanny plus thinking about what I want to put into their contract plus thinking about how I'm going to set up my week so I maybe still have time to work out at least a few times while also juggling 8 to 5 and still getting to see Noah.  I might become one of those odd people running downtown and showering at work . . . or not showering and having my hair in a bun every afternoon.  Okay that is probably a bad idea.

Okay time to get ready to try and sleep and dream about running fast, or at least just about running and not falling over and taking a nap on riverside before I hit the 13.1 mile marker!!

Go Go Go

So I feel like the nice weather this week (plus the fact that last week we watched way too many episodes of Revenge last week and felt like we wasted our life) made us want to get on a bunch of projects that we've been ruminating about for awhile.

I started turning the back room into a playroom.  I'm aiming for a space that he can play in while we sit and relax.  We're keeping the daybed in there - just adding a bunch more pillows so it'll hopefully a more inviting place to just lounge, or at least lounge for a few minutes before jumping up to make sure Noah doesn't eat a clump of dog hair or tumble on the tile floor.  A rug is on the list of things to get still!  That and a bunch more baskets for toys.  And a little more wall art.  Oh and I'm converting a train table top into a chalkboard so it can be multi functional as Noah learns how to color.  Okay I know I'm majorly jumping the gun on that skill, but I'm trying to set up the room so it'll be useful for awhile down the road!

Spencer went to work on finishing the garden beds so hopefully we can start planting cool weather plants this week!  We put down a bunch of cardboard for weed control and then he also laid out a bunch of the flower beds from our master plan we had drawn up a few years ago.  Yeah we had a guy draw up a plan for us all the while telling him we would not be paying him to do it.  I think he told us it'd be 40 grand to do it all at once.  No thank you.  But thank you for the nice drawing that we can slowly work on over the next ten years.  I'm telling you someday our backyard is going to be an oasis!!

I also started purging the upstairs.  I always feel like there is entirely too much furniture and junk up there!  So I started on one dresser and I'm slowly cleaning things out.  Only problem is one drawer was all full of summer clothes (pre baby) that I have no idea if it fits or not.  Looks like one of the days this week I'll be trying on a bunch of clothes and seeing just how much of my wardrobe I'll be donating to good will and just how much I can still make work after having Noah.

Spencer also started building storm windows for our house.

I ran ten miles today.  I feel like I can't walk straight.  That's the last long run though before the half marathon!  I have a few more weekly runs but mostly I taper over the next two weeks to make sure my legs are nice and fresh and I actually want to go running the morning of the race!

Okay well our dinner dates bailed due to a sick kid so we're eating leftover pasta plus some asparagus and mushrooms.  Yummm.

I'm One of Those People

One of those crazy people that run when it's 35 degrees out and may or may not be snowing.

I never thought I was going to be one of those people, but then I signed up for this half marathon, and I'm a stickler for doing the training program even if the weather is crazy and well I couldn't stand the thought of nine miles on a treadmill.  So yes, I ran nine miles in the windy cold this afternoon and it actually wasn't that bad.  I just put on a bunch of layers and tall socks and a hat and gloves and chapters eight and nine of the audiobook I've been listening too (Lean In) and started running.  I passed literally four other runners in the entire hour and a half I was out on the trail.  I'm not going to lie it sort of felt like I was earning a badge of honor in some odd running club.  Okay maybe that was the cold wind going to my head.

I have one more long run next weekend and then a weekend off from running and then it's the half marathon!! Ahhhhhhh.  Hopefully I can go slow and steady like on all of my long runs so far, but we'll see.

It's Official

I'm going back to work full time on May 12th.  And, actually now that I officially told them I feel better about going back. I think the constant back and forth, maybe I will maybe I won't was driving me a little insane.  Plus, it was making it really hard to make any changes in my day to day life that will make going back to work less stressful.

I've been brainstorming ideas for saving time once I go back to office, so that I won't have to spend all day Saturday or every week night running errands and cleaning house.  The funny thing is this kind of the opposite of what I've gotten in the habit of doing the last year.  I've been spreading out errands over the week so that we have things to get out and do instead of trying to do things as efficiently as possible.

First on the list, we have a house cleaner.  It's amazing.

Second, I just finally entered the 21st century and signed up for a bunch of online, automatic bill pay.  Not for my credit card though, that scared me.  I want to see what we are putting on it each month before it automatically pays itself and I never realize how many trips we are going on or how many anthro sale rack trips I've been taking.

I might start ordering diapers and wipes and household cleaners online to stop the trips to target. And not just to save time, also to stop on all the impulse buying I do when I'm there and I'm bored.  I always seem to leave with some new baby toy or outfit or a new picture frame or an organizational basket we don't really need.

Grocery shopping might just have to be a Saturday morning thing.  Whole Foods doesn't do online ordering in our area . . . yes I shop there regularly now, although honestly I've figured out how to keep the bill the same as it was at Reasors.  We just eat less meat.  And less chips.  And our fridge is totally empty by Saturday night.

Okay I'm off to read the chapter for Bible study tomorrow.  I've come to love spending time with a room full of women on Thursday mornings.  I know craziness.

Speaking of crazy.  He's crazy.  But we love him.  He's standing without holding on to anything.  And he throws legit fits when he doesn't get his way.  Yesterday he slammed his toy into the ground when I wouldn't pick him up immediately.  At dinner today he slammed his hands into his high chair when we didn't give him food fast enough.  Yeah he has an attitude.  

The Rain Jacket

He loves his rain jacket.

Although I'm pretty sure we love him wearing it even more.  I mean come on look at those faces?!!

Also, I about died watching them in Lowes together in their matching blue rain jackets.  How cute is that?! Yes I let him crawl on the floor in Lowes . . .

I ran 8 miles yesterday and then realized I had calculated the mileage wrong and ended up over 2 miles from my car and from Ange's house where Noah was chilling so I didn't have to push the stroller.  I was not about to run another 2 miles so I called Spencer and had him come pick me up.

It's a rainy, dreary day here, but Noah has been soundly sleeping for over an hour and half and I'm researching where else to stay in Ireland and what hiking boots I should get for the trip so I really can't complain.

Oh also, I gave up chocolate for lent.  Spencer had to remind me that hot chocolate has chocolate in it.  Last year I didn't give up anything because honestly I was 7 months pregnant and felt like I had given up quite enough already to grow the babe. Mostly I am trying to give up those multiple moments in the week when Blitz has her ball stuck under furniture and Noah is crying on the floor because I shut the dishwasher and he still wanted to play and I really have to go to the bathroom but dinner is already on the stove and requires attention and all I can think is man I think I'll eat a Dove chocolate to feel better.  Instead I'm going to try to think, thank you Jesus for coming to save me from myself.  I need you more than I need Dove chocolate.  We'll see how it goes.

Perfect Winter Night

We spent the afternoon with a friend from college scheming about long term business plans while eating quinoa chicken chili and healthy banana peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

I had already done my 7 mile half marathon training run yesterday before the icy cold wind started blowing.

Noah is now sleeping soundly after a day of barely napping.

Spencer made hot chocolate from scratch.

We just booked tickets to Ireland and are buying rain gear as we speak.  Even Noah gets a cute little blue rain jacket!

I'm researching collapsible baby beds and baby high chairs.  As in they fold up into little bags, not they collapse when your baby is in them - just thought maybe I should clarify :).

Not bad for a freezing cold, icy, and gloomy Sunday in March.

Now if I had only not started wasting my life by getting sucked into the TV show Revenge . . .

Family Planning

I really wanted to title this post kid number 2 but that just felt cruel haha.

We are not pregnant, nor do we have plans to be so any time soon.  However, it seems to be a common question people are starting to ask me (is nine months when people think your life is back to sane?! more on that later . . .).  Mostly it's just friends who are also in the kid having stage and are curious what I am thinking about time line, but then yesterday it was Noah's doctor!!  He had his nine month checkup, and everything looks great.  She said he's pretty much the perfect nine month old.  Poor kid he never had a chance at having low standards.  Then she said you guys are really good parents and you should have more kids.  And it wasn't really said in a hey that would be cool if you had more kids kind of tone it was more like no seriously you should have more kids which caught me more than a little off guard.  Honestly the first thought that went through my head was "wait does that mean you see alot of people that shouldn't have more kids?!"  After that I thought man we are awesome.  Apparently I should have labeled this post my ridiculous trains of thought.  Then I told a friend at lunch and she said I think it's partly because we are surrounded by a Christian community that teaches us the gospel and lets us parent more freely, without fear of messing up because we know our kids and ourselves as parents are safely held in our Father's hands.  Way to crush my we are awesome bubble haha.  She's right though.  It is freeing to think God loves Noah more than we ever could.

Anyway, we want more kids but the memory of not sleeping is still all too real.  That and I finally fit in my pants and feel good running again and I'm not ready to give that up yet.  Plus Rach is trying to convince me to run a half marathon.  I can't decide if I want to up the ante and turn my run a 10k New Year's resolution into a run a half marathon resolution.

Okay so honestly 9 months post baby does feel really, really nice in some ways.  Noah is so much more flexible than a new born.  He doesn't need to eat exactly every 3.5 hours.  He doesn't need to sleep exactly 2 hours at every nap to not have a melt down later (in case you can't tell from this we are baby schedule people).  He can play by himself for decent chunks of time without freaking out if I'm not 2 inches from him.  Today I worked for almost a full hour with him just crawling around the sunroom playing with toys and letting Blitz lick him and then he also decided to crawl to Blitzy's crate and take her food bowl and bang it against the crate again and again and again.  He's so hilarious.  He'll just look at me and grin as if to say look mom I'm so awesome I figured out how to make more noise!!!  He can crawl around the house and follow me from room to room while I'm putting away laundry.  Basically I can multi task again and it is amazing.  That and he giggles any time you look at him and poke his little belly which is also amazing.  And he grins all the time.

And did I mention he goes to bed at 7:45 pm? Yeah life does feel a little normal again.  Except for the part where you have a small human with you 24-7.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Today was just one of those days where you feel happy to be alive.  The sun was shining, it was almost 70 degrees out, and I got to drink two lattes and spend the day with this little guy.

After a normal morning full of topeca and napping, we went to lunch with a friend and ate some delicious queso and heard all the latest work drama.  Then it was back home for a some paper reading (aka working) and more napping for Noah.  Then I decided who needs to get groceries on Monday - instead we went to double shot, got another latte and a ridiculously expensive and delicious dark chocolate coffee bar and then headed to Guthrie Green for some fun in the sun.  Noah did his best to eat as many sticks as possible while I wasn't looking and Libby and I chatted about figuring out our lives.  After that we walked to the new Folks Urban Market downtown and bought eggs and ground turkey and mushrooms because I did need to still make dinner.  Noah played out on the porch in his exersaucer while Spencer fixed the fan and I cooked pasta.  We all three ate out on the porch and like any normal human Noah thought the pasta was way yummier than broccoli and apples he was supposed to be eating.  He was so full of giggles and smiles today and it was just extra beautiful to me. 

Tomorrow we see how fat he's gotten at his 9 month checkup!

We Made It!

Well I ran a 10k.  I never thought I would "be a runner" and sometimes I still don't think I am a runner since it still feels ridiculously hard to run half (most?) of the time.  When does that get easier?  I guess if I think about it, it has gotten easier to run a mile or two.  And three miles isn't always easy but now I can do it without ever having to walk - although sometimes if you saw me with the B.O.B. pushing Noah up the hill onto the 21st street bridge in the wind you might beg to differ :).  6.4 miles though - whew.  I'm glad I had Rach and Peter as running buddies even if the last two miles or so we were all pretty much done with the chit chat and just thinking about getting up the one big hill and then beating the two girls in front of us who kept walking and then jogging past us and then walking and then jogging past us.  We beat them in the last block just for good measure haha.

We ran it in just under an hour, which was sort of a goal.  First goal was to finish, second goal was to not walk, and third was to maybe, hopefully get it done in under an hour.  I'd done one 6 mile run in just over an hour with the stroller and Rach and I had done one in just under an hour without the stroller, so we knew it was doable we just didn't know how we would stand up under the pressure on race day - but we made it! 58 minutes and 57 seconds we crossed the finished line.  And then promptly ate a huge breakfast complete with tequila sunrises and bloody marys.

And Noah did this while we ate.  Whew watching races early Saturday mornings is so tiring.  Life as a baby is just so hard :).

Then we did a few touristy things around town since the siblings and friends were in town and well honestly we had never done half of them even though I've lived here almost 10 years (how did that happen?!!!).

Noah thought the center of the universe was pretty cool.

We also checked out the giant golden driller and then walked down 15th street and looked at some cool furniture stores and a few cute boutiques and of course the only thing we purchased were some cute baby leggings for Noah, complete with knee patches.

Then it was pizza, beer, valentine's day chocolate and olympics.  Oh and somewhere in there most of us showered haha.  And then some netflix.  And then sleep.  10k's do make for some pretty good nights sleep . . .

Noah's up.  Time for a walk to stretch out the legs and enjoy the 60 degree sunshine in February. 

Milestones

Noah is nine months old today!

Yes, I know it is also Valentine's Day today.  We actually did our Vday celebration early on Wednesday night since we are both running 10k's in the morning and didn't want to be running around full of wine and chocolate cake and heavy cream.  Haha TMI.

We started out at Hodges Bend for a nice pre dinner drink - I had a cappucino so I could stay up past 8 (our reservation wasn't till 7:45!) while Spencer had some odd but delicious cocktail with espresso in it.  Then it was off to try the new Tallgrass Prairie Table downtown.  It was so delicious.  I had theh fanciest fried chicken I've ever seen, complete with a curry dipping sauce.  Amazing.  And the restaraunt was beautiful too, complete with rustic wood barn doors and water colors of wild horses.  Too bad you can't just sit there and study :).

So yes, Noah is nine months and ridiculously cute and hilarious.  Guys, he is fearless.  I'm not really surprised in general but he still manages to surprise me on a daily basis if that makes any sense.  Yesterday I took him to a park with a friend and he just crawled right on over to the playground and pulled up a merry go round toy that way bigger kids were spinning on.  Of course he fell but he went right back to it a few minutes later.  He is just so curious and I love it!  He also ate too many leaves and puked when I put him in his carseat.  I don't think I have ever heard such a sad noise!  I was at a red light and couldn't do anything and he was just sitting in his own vomit screaming.  It almost made me cry!  And it was probably all of 45 seconds.

Okay Noah's awake! Time for a bottle and then we're headed to the park to soak up some sun!

Oh Well

When we were walking in the Safelite store to pay for Spencer's new windshield I dropped my iphone and finally cracked it.  Oh the irony.

Yesterday at the gym my iphone flew off the treadmill when I tried to change a song on pandora and it cracked more.

Noah woke up at 5:30 am yesterday morning and this morning.  And not just for a bottle, full out I'm awake and ready to play.

Blitz got out yesterday morning because the wind blew our gate open.  At least David found her and stood in the 10 degree weather waiting for me while I bundled up Noah and put him in his carseat.

It's too cold to run outside.  Treadmills for 4 miles are boring.

It's been one of those weeks.

But I do have good coffee at the house and lots of fresh veggies and fruit and lots of mom dates planned and Noah fell asleep in my lap while I rocked him this morning.  He's pretty cute.

The plan is to try and keep him up till 8 pm tonight so hopefully he'll sleep past six!! Fingers crossed!!!

On a Sunny Sunday Morning

So last night Spencer and I went to a 30th birthday party complete with a party bus.  It was pretty epic and full of college throwbacks.  Flip cup, cheesy too loud pop music (who am I kidding this is not throwback I knew all the words to all the songs . . .), bad western line dancing, fake bull riding, multiple party bus dances to the "baggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps" song oh and also a bunch of mom's (mostly of babies under 1) trying their best to not wear mom jeans and stay up past 9:30 pm.  We made it to 1 am before begging to go home.

We were going to go to church this morning, but then our neighbors decided to leave their dog chained up outside all night long while they were gone (either that or they were stoned or deaf).  We got home at 2 am from our epic party and the dog literally whined and cried until past 6 am.  At which point Spencer finally called the cops.  I don't think they actually came out but at that point we hadn't slept and we were so frustrated we didn't know what else to do.  

So now we're drinking coffee and Spencer's making cinnamon rolls and I'm reading about hiring a nanny and we're trying to not be too frustrated that our one night without Noah waking us up early (he's partying it up in Stillwater) was actually way worse than any 6:30 am wake up call he's given us in the past 5 months.

While I was reading, I found this little gem on the nannies4hire.com website and it made me think of you Shannon :).  

"Perfection is not a realistic standard to shoot for. If mom is setting the bar too high, she will frequently (if not continuously) feel guilt for failing to live up to super-woman standards. Mom will not consistently be able to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan . . . well, you know the rest . . . in sum, mom will not be able to be all things to all people at all times. Sometimes, mom will need to cut herself some slack and show herself the same forgiveness she shows her kids."

Now if only I could remember this on a daily basis.

Thanks Goodness

Noah took two normal naps yesterday.  And only fussed (not screamed) for 15 minutes before falling asleep.  And went to bed at 7:15pm and slept through the night with no crying.  This morning he went down for his morning nap with no screaming.

I feel like a new person.  Now if I could just stop the habit of eating chocolate each nap time that I started last week ;).

Game Plan

Well.  This week was not so great.  I won't subject you to the whole pity party, but basically Noah screamed for what felt like forever and we were so off our normal schedule by the end of the week that I felt like we would never get back to our normal routine.  He's learned how to pull up in his crib and basically before every nap time he screamed for 30 minutes straight while holding onto the bars in his crib and looking like he was in jail.  Oh and he also threw his toys out of the crib.  And knocked the monitor on the floor in protest.  Yeah not so fun.  It happened multiple times and some of the times he never did actually fall asleep I just couldn't handle the constant screaming and got him up to go do something distracting.  So, yeah when he was awake he had this zombie like stare on his face from being so worn out.  He pretty much fell asleep between 6:30 and 7 pm each night and slept till morning.

Poor little guy and really (more importantly?) poor me.  I felt crazy by Saturday morning.  I felt like I couldn't figure out what he needed or what the routine should even be.  I thought he needed to nap more but then he would scream so much I thought maybe he just wants to be awake.  I thought he was maybe sick but then he would crawl around and grin and be a perfect angel in the nursery or at the coffee shop.  Enter lots of mom doubt about whether or not I really knew how to be his mom or not.

Oops I said no pity party!!  So after this craziness and after a weekend of Spencer trying to give me a break so I wouldn't have to constantly be thinking about it, we made a game plan.  We bought light blocking curtains.  We're looking for a sound machine.  We hung up a curtain over the glass door between his room and my home office so he can't see me working while he's throwing a screaming fit.  I decided when he wakes up in the morning for his bottle, even if it's 6:15 (I know, I know that's not that early) I'm going to get up and actually start the day with him instead of letting him fall back asleep in bed with us and messing up the morning routine.  And, I'm going to try and get back on our normal nap time routine.  I'm going to assume (for at least this coming week) that this was just a fluke and that he actually does still need two naps not just one long one which is a more normal transition around one year to 18 months.

We'll see how it goes.

Hopefully next weekend when he goes to Gigi and Pops' for the night it'll be happy for everyone, not a "please, please take my baby so I don't go insane" kind of overnight :).

We Made It!

We survived five days without Spencer.  It wasn't too bad, but I definitely packed it full of things to keep us distracted, and I was really glad to have him back.  Having a house to yourself after 7:30 pm is not the most relaxing.  I did a get a bunch of random things crossed off my to do list though.

I think Noah is teething or at least going through a "I think naps are dumb" stage.  They have nothing on crawling apparently.  Nothing on crawling and nothing on pulling up on things?!!! How is this already happening?  One thing still on my to do list is baby proofing.  Maybe I'll do that tonight considering Noah pulled a lamp cord out of the socket yesterday before I even realized what he was looking at!!

Also, Noah and I ran a 10k at riverside yesterday.  Okay Noah kicked his feet and enjoyed the sun and tried to throw his toy off the pedestrian bridge and I ran a 10k.  1:04 and 53 seconds.  I'm kind of proud of myself.  But I figured putting that on facebook would be annoying to all the other new moms out there.  So there you go my few good friends you get to see that New Year's resolution one is checked off!  Thanks to 60 degree weather in January, a happy baby, a funny podcast, map my run telling me my splits and cute old ladies smiling at Noah along the trail, oh and thanks to my legs that God gave me that are still working.  When I got tired I had this random thankful thought, thank you God that have legs that work well enough to run.  I know, odd :).

Time to quickly eat my salad and get to work on an awesome power point and hopefully Noah sleeps longer than 30 minutes this time . . . fingers crossed!!!

Partying It Up on a Friday Night

Okay not really partying, unless you count putting Noah to sleep at 7, eating some yummy chicken and roasted veggies, chatting with Spencer about the slopes, cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the house, cleaning up the dishes, and then settling down to two and half hours of reading about the Eagle Ford shale while drinking wine and eating chocolate as partying.  So yeah not partying.  But we are making it.  Also, I enjoy reading technical papers about shales.  I know I'm weird.  I just tried to forget that it was Friday night and that I was stuck in my house with a sleeping baby and then it really wasn't that bad.  Sort of like a late night cramming for finals party in college except even better because now I get paid to study and now I can afford a glass of wine and chocolate instead of digging around for enough quarters for a cup of black coffee.  

So putting together an exersaucer should get you a gold medal.  Especially putting together an exersaucer with Noah trying to crawl onto the half built toy while Blitzy tries to lick him to death!  I only finished about half of it this afternoon, and then I couldn't find one of the leg pieces and was resigned to having to drive to the other side of town tomorrow to exchange it for one with all the pieces.  Then later tonight while I was sweeping Blitzy kept scratching under the armoire to try and get a toy that was stuck underneath and lo and behold when I got down on the ground to get her toy it turned out to the be the missing piece to the exersaucer that she had sneakily grabbed earlier in the day while I was trying to keep Noah from stabbing himself with the screwdriver I left on the floor while building the contraption. I guess cleaning is occasionally good for something other than satisfying OCD tendencies (which oddly enough when it comes to dog hair I really don't have).

Noah's been a champ the last three days.  He's been really happy, full of grins and smiles and smirks.  He's napped pretty well (especially on the drive to and from Norman!) and he's gone to bed early.  I think crawling is wearing his little self out :).  He's just so ridiculously adorable and every time he crawls over to me and grabs on my boots I about melt.  I know, I know where did the mushiness come from?! 

Okay well I better head to sleep considering babies do not understand the concept of weekends. Rach comes tomorrow though!  And we're going to do our second long run in our training program for the 10k.  And it's supposed to be 55 and sunny!  

Oh I just remembered one other funny thing.  Wednesday night after drinking a glass of wine before going to bed I had all kinds of crazy dreams.  One involved going into Noah's room in the morning, and he was out of the crib and running around!!  I had left too much stuff piled by the crib and he had somehow managed to crawl down the pile of stuff and get to the floor and then proceeded to figure out how to walk and run.  And he was no bigger than he is now so it was like a weird tiny midget baby running around haha.  Oh wine dreams.  I am getting old.  Since when is 27 old?! 

Flying Solo

Okay I guess it's not flying solo since Noah is along for the ride, but I didn't want to title my blog "Single Parenting" and freak everyone out :).  Spencer left this afternoon for a much needed guys ski trip to New Mexico.  At least I think still to New Mexico - the original destination was axed due to low snowfall.   So till Sunday evening I'm in charge of Noah all by my lonesome.  It doesn't seem like too big of a deal right now since I do stay with Noah every day of the week usually, but usually I also know that if I'm having a bad day or if Noah's been fussy or not napping or I've only gotten 15 minutes of work done at a time or haven't had time to take a shower, that Spencer will be home around 5:15 and can take a turn being on baby watch.  We'll see how it goes . . .

Today we passed the time by going to Topeca in the morning before Noah's morning nap, then going to Elotes with a work friend for lunch, then hitting up the gym after Noah's afternoon nap (yes my life pretty much revolves around his nap times, but really it's better for everyone if he consistently takes them haha), then back home for some dinner.  Noah had his peas and pears and then was still whining so I gave him two yum yum graham cracker things to chew on so I could enjoy my salad with fruit on it and my salmon, both things I only make sparingly when Spencer is home considering he doesn't really like fish and he picks the fruit off the salad and eats it separate :).  Then it was off to buy buy baby where I caved and bought a huge, bright colored, feng shui killing exersaucer because well, Noah loves them.  And he'll play in them for what seems like hours any time we are at a friend's house who has one. And I started having a mom guilt trip that I didn't get him one just because I wanted my living room to not look overrun by baby toys.  On that note, I got Spencer and I this "Q&A a day" book for Christmas where each day for a year you each answer a short prompt.  Then you repeat the questions for two more years so you have a three year journal of how your life is changing.  Cool, huh?! Sometimes they are silly like "when's the last time you laughed?" and sometimes they are deep like "who inspires you?".  Today's prompt is "What are you ready to release?".  I think I'm ready to release trying to make my house still look like no children live in it (with the exception of Noah's nursery of course!).  I think I'm ready for that . . . mostly because I'm pretty sure there is no way to keep all the baby stuff stored in nice baskets with lids all the time and why aim for something impossible?!  Maybe I'll just aim to keep our bedroom void of baby things, so that I can have one place to shut the door and feel a little organized peace.

Tomorrow we're off to Norman to see a friend and her cute little baby Thatcher who's just three weeks older than Noah.  Our goal is to teach Thatcher to crawl, oh and to not have Noah cry the whole way there or the whole way back.  I tried to get him the next size up of car seats tonight, but it was so much more expensive in Buy Buy Baby than online that I couldn't stomach it!

Okay I'm off to answer my "Q & A a day" prompt and then a little reading of In Defense of Food before I decide whether or not Blitz gets to sleep on the bed since Spencer is gone . . .

Mulling Things Over

Well.  It's 2014.

I've been trying to figure out what New Year's resolutions I want to have for 2014.  I feel like my brain goes into overdrive when I try and think about what I want to accomplish, and then I get overwhelmed by my own limitations and the fact that there are only so many hours in a day.  Add to that the fact that now we have sweet little Noah in our lives who, go figure, sometimes has his own agenda.

So here's what I have so far:

- Run a 10k.  Maybe . . . maybe a half marathon.  The 10k is on the books, so if you're looking for something to do the morning of February 15th you should probably come hold Noah and cheer while we run ;).  Rach made us a sweet training schedule to stay motivated - complete with an ab and squat challenge!!  One week down, six weeks to go.

- Eat more veggies.  So far my mom got me a sweet gourmet veggie cookbook, and I used an amazon gift card from the grandparents to get a second, a little less complicated, veggie cookbook.  Hopefully those will motivate me to try things other than roasting and sauteing with olive oil and salt.

- Help Noah love learning and love the outdoors.  This is a little vague I know, but I just love seeing his face light up when he accomplishes something new and I don't want to get too bogged down with things like laundry or dishes or picking up his toys to stop and help him learn something new.

- Take Noah to Ireland.  Hike. See the green hills for myself.  Journal under a tree.

- Figure out if I want to be a stay at home mom or a working mom.  Whew.

Beyond that I have all kinds of half way formed things in my head.  Things about being more generally healthy, less sitting on the couch, more taking hikes and walks and bike rides and picnics.  Less soda. More water.  Less time on facebook aimlessly scrolling.  Less time getting distracted by my phone when I'm with actual people trying to have a conversation.  Give away more money.  Spend more money on healthy food, less money on random crap food.  Spend more time praying, less time on pinterest.  Spend more time actually planning to accomplish goals rather than just bemoaning the fact I haven't gotten there yet.

And then I stop in the middle of this ridiculous list and feel super anxious about whether or not I can actually do all these things.  I start feeling guilty about the time I waste or about the food I eat or about how I spent too much at Whole Foods or about the time I texted a friend instead of watching Noah crawl or eat his peas and pears while at the same time trying to grin at me.  He has the best grins.

And then I think wait.  Maybe I should just make my 2014 resolution to spend more time being still.  Spend more time reminding myself that Jesus already loves me.  Even if I'm distracted, even if I feel pulled in a million directions.  Even if I feel like I may never be able to think clearly again.  Even if I feel like every conversation will forever be interrupted by Noah needing something.  Even if I drink too much caffeine and give myself anxiety.  Even if I am a crazy list maker.  He loves me.  His grace is sufficient so I don't have to be sufficient.  I don't have to be the perfect wife and mom who works 15 hours part time while also having a kid decked out all in baby gap that was all on sale and also makes healthy meals every night and also runs 5 miles a day while looking good in lululemon and also drinks only water and also has the house spotless (and looking like restoration hardware on a budget) and also reads about revitalizing the city in her spare time and invites neighbors over for meals twice a week and cooks with vegetables from her organic garden and doesn't spend too much money on groceries and never splurges at anthropologie but still manages to look cute every day and also has energy to ask Spencer about his day and encourage him about a godly work ethic and give him space to work on house projects when he needs to unwind and plans cute stay at home date nights and never gets overwhelmed by a crying baby.  And I wonder why I feel anxious.

Maybe I should add lower my expectations for myself to my resolutions list.