On My "Own"

Yesterday was my first day on my "own" with Noah.  Which really just meant that no one was in the house with me 24-7 picking up after me, cooking for me, doing laundry for me and making sure I didn't work too hard.  I really wasn't on my own though.  Leslie brought me lovely muffins, granola bars, and a dshot latte not long after I was out of bed - a phrase which by the way is becoming nebulous to me.  I mean if you are up every two and a half to every three hours when are you really "out of bed" for the day?  I'm calling out of bed when I get up in the morning, get dressed and hopefully shower (yes, so far Noah has obliging still let me shower everyday!!!).  I got to see Violet and be encouraged about how much easier even a 2 month old is (where have the first two week already gone?! oh right that lack of sleep thing . . .).  Then Spencer came home for lunch to snack on some delicious leftovers with me and change a few diapers and hold Noah for a little bit.  Seriously seeing him with Noah is so cute and just makes me happy we decided we could survive having a kid.  I'd say we decided to have a kid, but really I'm starting to see more and more we have no control over this whole thing.  It's in God's hands.  Which is good.  I think.  Still working on being okay with that.  You'd think I'd be fully convinced considering the whole getting pregnant, pregnancy, and labor and delivery went more smoothly than I could have even imagined.

Haha I just rocked Noah to sleep to R Kelly rap.  How beautiful.  Where would I be without spotify?

 After that Spencer's aunt and cousin came over and held Noah and listened to him be fussy haha.  I was just starting to read this book called The Happiest Baby on the Block which shows you how to recreate womb like conditions for your baby.  Seriously guys I feel like I'm reading a book of magic tricks!!  Noah had been crying a bunch since the weekend and we were trying to figure out what was up and then I remembered I had bought this book that had been highly recommended.  I started reading and it's awesome!  So now I swaddle him right after a diaper change, carry him on his side, and then swing/rock him.  If he's not screaming yet that's all it takes.  If he is already screaming I shhhhhhh in his ear really loud and last but not least if  he wakes up later but it isn't time to eat yet he can have a paci.  Yes we've already caved.  I can't really have my finger in his mouth all day long!!

Okay so after that Kat and I ventured out to Buy Buy Baby and after that Spencer was home and the Diffendaffers brought over dinner and five week old Thatcher (oh my goodness talk about chubby cuteness!!!).  So really I wasn't by myself for more than an hour or two.

Today was full of longer stretches of just me and the babe, but honestly it was kind of nice.  I feel like I'm coming out of the totally exhausted stupor (don't read that I'm not tired, I just don't feel like a walking zombie anymore).  Plus now I feel like I can walk around relatively well without being in pain from giving birth.  What a difference two weeks makes!!  Also Kerri and Candice brought me a latte, so that didn't hurt :).

Note to self: blogging with a baby on your lap isn't too bad :).  It takes a little extra coordination but he's so cute I wasn't quite ready to put him up.  I've been realizing that this tiny stage is really going to fly by so I should probably enjoy holding him and kissing him as much as possible before he gets unwieldy and independent ;).

Hmm I was going to post a pic, but I'm still figuring out how to use a mac . . .  got it!!

Check It

We survived week one.  My two goals for the week were accomplished: keep Noah alive and shower every day.  (Yes I did shower that night after I gave birth.  It was about two minutes long, and I about passed out but with the help of the midwife I wasn't completely sweaty and gross when we went home).  I'm pretty positive neither goal, okay at least not the second, would have been accomplished if it weren't for the help from Spencer and my wonderful mother (who by the way has also swept up all the dog hair, deep cleaned my kitchen, dusted everywhere, done a buch of loads of laundry, done a bunch of loads of dishes, cooked, swept dog hair again).  I wasn't sure how much help I would need, but Spencer took charge and asked my mom if she could stay for the week or at least till Alisha gets here and it has been amazing.

In between the 12 plus or minus feedings a day - okay that may be a slight exaggeration but not much - I've been trying to rest up.  This isn't my strong point, but a few things are helping.  I've been reading this ridiculously funny book Operating Instructions "A Journal of My Son's First Year" by Anne Lamott.  Seriously it has had my mom and I and Spencer crying from laughing so hard.  Her son's name is Sam.

"A minute later I inserted the thermometer into sam's rectum.  I think it surprised him a little bit, and right at that exact second the kitty tore back into the house and ran up tot he couch to check on the new arrival.  In the next few seconds, with the kitty's eyes on us, shit began spouting volcanically out of the baby's bum, and I started calling for help.  The shit just poured voluminously out of Sam while the kitty looked up at me with total horror and disgust, like 'you have got to be kidding, Annie this one's broken.' Like she had put her trust in me to pick one up at the pound and this was the best I could do."

It's definitely lightening the mood around here :).  I've also been journaling about Noah's birth.  It took me a day and a half between interruptions and trying to sleep and showing off Noah to friends to finish writing about his birth.  Which, is pretty ironic considering the whole thing lasted less than five hours.  Yes, hate me now.  Five hours.  Here's the short version.  If you want the long version come visit me and I'll tell you all the details :).

4:30 pm on Tuesday
We went to go see the midwife for our regularly scheduled appointment.  I thought I had maybe had some contractions in the morning, but nothing painful and I didn't know if they were just Braxton Hicks since I had never really had those while pregnant.  I was dilated to a two and 90% effaced (if that needs translating, ask Spencer, seriously he paid way better attention in birthing class then I did!).  The midwife said, you'll probably be back within 24 hours.  Go home, rest, drink lots of fluids.

5:00 pm
Leave the midwife's and head to jamba juice.  Make our list of who needs to know when he's born.  I'm starting to feel like I'm having regular contractions that are at least uncomfortable.

6:00 something pm
Arrive home after driving home in rush hour traffic.  I pretty much was the most annoyed person ever the whole.  I hate traffic when I'm not in labor, while having contractions made me really cranky.  We start watching a West Wing episode.  I start feeling pretty bad.  I move to the bathroom where it's colder and breathe through contractions.  I move to the bedroom and lay down and breathe through contractions which Spencer decides he should start timing.  I try to think about what I learned in birth class and in prenatal.  God designed my body to do this.  Only think about one contraction at a time.  Quote Psalm 23 to myself.  Relax all muscles but the ones being used to contractions.  Try not to panic because the contractions are already less than three minutes apart and some are definitely one on top of the other.  I puked up jamba juice (Spencer says I keep leaving this part out haha).

7:45 pm
Spencer asks me when we were supposed to call the midwife and I said when contractions are five minutes apart.  We both realize we're way past that.  Spencer calls the midwife who was in the drive through at chickfila and was planning to head home.  She doesn't head home and tells us to come on over.  In my head I'm thinking, this feels like what I learned in class is transition, when you're almost fully dilated, but surely not considering it's only been a couple hours.  Spencer helps me to the car, which requires us stopping for two contractions.  Longest car ride ever.  I'm having contractions back to back pretty much and breathing like crazy. Spencer keeps telling me I can do this.

8:30 pm
Get to the birth center.  Ruth, our midwife, had just gotten there.  She had me go to the bathroom and then checked me and says well you are ready to push this baby out.  I was at a 10.  Yep, I was already fully dilated! I had been in transition!  It really had been that intense for a reason and I wasn't going to have to go through that kind of concentration and pain for 24 long hours.  I really did feel a wave of relief, just a very short lived one between contractions :).  Ruth then had me lie on my side to keep me from pushing so she could have time to get all of her stuff out and ready before the baby came!

8:50 pm
Start pushing.  Enter the longest 40 minutes of my life.  Seriously I felt like the contractions were doable.  Really not fun but doable with alot of concentration and breathing deeply and thinking about how I was made to do this.  But pushing?  Worst thing ever.  If someone could have given me magic pain pills at this point I totally would have been board.  Natural childbirth out the window.  It was just awful.  Once his head starting coming out it was the most horrible thing ever and Ruth was trying to get me to slow down so I wouldn't tear but after one contraction, while I was in the rest period in between of 30 or so seconds, I told Spencer I want this baby OUT!!  And on the second contraction I pushed till I felt like I was dying and he came flying out!  I about pushed the midwife off the bed I pushed so hard according to Spencer, although I don't remember that I just remember thinking hallelujah it's over!  His official birth time was 9:25 pm.  Less than five hours since we had left the birth center the first time.  So my labor was labeled as precipitous, which for a first time mom pretty much never happens.

Okay maybe this was the semi short version :).

Ha this blog post was almost finished and then Noah woke up and needed to eat.  Such is life now :).

Retirement

Friday was my last day of work for a year.

Weird.

So yes, I've officially started maternity leave even though Noah isn't here yet.  I decided a few days to chill plus not having to worry about going into labor while at the office (especially while presenting in a meeting which was happening alot the last couple of days I was there) sounded pretty nice.  Right after I left work on Friday I was really excited.  I bought myself a pair of Toms that I could never wear to the office, you know the actual original Toms, not the cute wedges and flats I got away with wearing to work.  Then I got home and I wasn't really excited any more I was really just bummed.  I like working!  I like my coworkers. I like the challenges of trying to figure out problems and get projects I worked on approved. I like the intellectual stimulation of having to work on things no one has answers to yet.  Plus, I was realizing I like doing things day to day that I already know I can do, that I already know I'm good at -  I know, I know big surprise I like doing things I'm good at haha.

Anyway, I had a little pity party in my head and then I started planning out my week (plus or minus) of vacation around t-town.  I decided if I'm going to have some time off before Noah gets here I might as well enjoy it!!  Plus I really can't sit around for days on end, so I needed something to help fill the time.  So I bought some new books at Barnes and Noble, and I booked a bunch of lunches and brunches and coffee dates.  And I scheduled an eye appointment.  And made a list of everything I could still do before baby gets here to be more prepared.  At this point nothing on that list is really paramount to finish before he gets here it's just nice clean up things like wash all the cloth diapers or organize the pantry or get a baby book (check to that one as of a few minutes ago thanks to etsy!).

Today's Fun Activities

- slept in a little (this is sort of anticlimatic considering sleeping isn't the most comfortable right now)
- made breakfast and laughed at Blitz try to stay awake during what is her normal stay in the crate and nap time (she kept flopping on the ground in a heap every time I moved from room to room)
- finished reading Sula, the first of three books I bought to read this week
- folded some laundry
- cleaned out the magazine basket
- made a grocery list
- paid bills
- called cleaning lady (oh please, oh please let her call me back so the house can get deep cleaned pre Noah)
- finally cashed checks that were almost six months old (yes I know I have a horrible habit of never cashing checks)
- had lunch with a bunch of pregos and one cute mamma with a 2 month old
- hit up utica for a lampshade for Noah's room
- got a pedicure (AMAZING, normally I don't splurge and get the deluxe one but I figured this might be the last one I get in a long time and it was so, so nice.  They guy even let me sit in the massage chair while my toes were drying since they weren't busy)
- got a few more books to read just in case
- started getting really sleepy and irrationally annoyed at the 15 speed bumps in the Barnes and Nobles parking lot
- got groceries
- dropped off bills in the mail  
- sat in the QT parking lot for ten minutes with a million people waiting to gas and a bunch of cars just sitting there without drivers in them (note to the world: when the gas station is packed don't leave your car at the pump for ten minutes while you go inside!!!)

And now I'm home.  Whew.  The vacation thing is tiring haha.  I think I will start on book number 2 while I finish my lovely cucumber and apple juice and listen to Blitz bark at the neighbor kids.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I think the countdown has officially started.  I'm still not too uncomfortable; I just think Spencer and I are both antsy and not sure what to do with ourselves while we wait for the day we get to start being parents.  I wake up in the morning thinking "hmmm, I wonder if this is the day I get to see what labor is like" or "hmm I wonder if this is the last day I get to decide what I want to do with my spare time for awhile" of "hmm I wonder if tonight is the last night we'll be able to leisurely do laundry and make dinner and watch reruns of the West Wing until way too late."

I think from a logistics standpoint we are ready to go which almost makes me more antsy because now I don't know what to do with my spare time.  Bag is packed, carseat is installed, baby clothes are all washed, room is all set up, our last birth class was last week and the one on breastfeeding is tomorrow.  We even washed the dog.  And the fence is finished.  And the car is full of gas.  And I've given up on keeping the house clean of dog hair.  And I finish work Friday.  So yeah, no we are just wondering what to do with ourselves.

This week is packed full of stuff I've agreed to go to tentatively.  Yes I'll go to your graduation party, unless I have a baby.  Yes I'll bring a non alcoholic drink to your baby shower unless I have a baby.  Yes I'll go to a two day work conference which includes an after party at the drillers game, unless I have a baby.

Just for fun, here's some more of Shari's lovely pre Noah gets here pics.  I'm pretty sure he'll be way cuter than my prego belly, but I thought these were pretty fun!