Check It

We survived week one.  My two goals for the week were accomplished: keep Noah alive and shower every day.  (Yes I did shower that night after I gave birth.  It was about two minutes long, and I about passed out but with the help of the midwife I wasn't completely sweaty and gross when we went home).  I'm pretty positive neither goal, okay at least not the second, would have been accomplished if it weren't for the help from Spencer and my wonderful mother (who by the way has also swept up all the dog hair, deep cleaned my kitchen, dusted everywhere, done a buch of loads of laundry, done a bunch of loads of dishes, cooked, swept dog hair again).  I wasn't sure how much help I would need, but Spencer took charge and asked my mom if she could stay for the week or at least till Alisha gets here and it has been amazing.

In between the 12 plus or minus feedings a day - okay that may be a slight exaggeration but not much - I've been trying to rest up.  This isn't my strong point, but a few things are helping.  I've been reading this ridiculously funny book Operating Instructions "A Journal of My Son's First Year" by Anne Lamott.  Seriously it has had my mom and I and Spencer crying from laughing so hard.  Her son's name is Sam.

"A minute later I inserted the thermometer into sam's rectum.  I think it surprised him a little bit, and right at that exact second the kitty tore back into the house and ran up tot he couch to check on the new arrival.  In the next few seconds, with the kitty's eyes on us, shit began spouting volcanically out of the baby's bum, and I started calling for help.  The shit just poured voluminously out of Sam while the kitty looked up at me with total horror and disgust, like 'you have got to be kidding, Annie this one's broken.' Like she had put her trust in me to pick one up at the pound and this was the best I could do."

It's definitely lightening the mood around here :).  I've also been journaling about Noah's birth.  It took me a day and a half between interruptions and trying to sleep and showing off Noah to friends to finish writing about his birth.  Which, is pretty ironic considering the whole thing lasted less than five hours.  Yes, hate me now.  Five hours.  Here's the short version.  If you want the long version come visit me and I'll tell you all the details :).

4:30 pm on Tuesday
We went to go see the midwife for our regularly scheduled appointment.  I thought I had maybe had some contractions in the morning, but nothing painful and I didn't know if they were just Braxton Hicks since I had never really had those while pregnant.  I was dilated to a two and 90% effaced (if that needs translating, ask Spencer, seriously he paid way better attention in birthing class then I did!).  The midwife said, you'll probably be back within 24 hours.  Go home, rest, drink lots of fluids.

5:00 pm
Leave the midwife's and head to jamba juice.  Make our list of who needs to know when he's born.  I'm starting to feel like I'm having regular contractions that are at least uncomfortable.

6:00 something pm
Arrive home after driving home in rush hour traffic.  I pretty much was the most annoyed person ever the whole.  I hate traffic when I'm not in labor, while having contractions made me really cranky.  We start watching a West Wing episode.  I start feeling pretty bad.  I move to the bathroom where it's colder and breathe through contractions.  I move to the bedroom and lay down and breathe through contractions which Spencer decides he should start timing.  I try to think about what I learned in birth class and in prenatal.  God designed my body to do this.  Only think about one contraction at a time.  Quote Psalm 23 to myself.  Relax all muscles but the ones being used to contractions.  Try not to panic because the contractions are already less than three minutes apart and some are definitely one on top of the other.  I puked up jamba juice (Spencer says I keep leaving this part out haha).

7:45 pm
Spencer asks me when we were supposed to call the midwife and I said when contractions are five minutes apart.  We both realize we're way past that.  Spencer calls the midwife who was in the drive through at chickfila and was planning to head home.  She doesn't head home and tells us to come on over.  In my head I'm thinking, this feels like what I learned in class is transition, when you're almost fully dilated, but surely not considering it's only been a couple hours.  Spencer helps me to the car, which requires us stopping for two contractions.  Longest car ride ever.  I'm having contractions back to back pretty much and breathing like crazy. Spencer keeps telling me I can do this.

8:30 pm
Get to the birth center.  Ruth, our midwife, had just gotten there.  She had me go to the bathroom and then checked me and says well you are ready to push this baby out.  I was at a 10.  Yep, I was already fully dilated! I had been in transition!  It really had been that intense for a reason and I wasn't going to have to go through that kind of concentration and pain for 24 long hours.  I really did feel a wave of relief, just a very short lived one between contractions :).  Ruth then had me lie on my side to keep me from pushing so she could have time to get all of her stuff out and ready before the baby came!

8:50 pm
Start pushing.  Enter the longest 40 minutes of my life.  Seriously I felt like the contractions were doable.  Really not fun but doable with alot of concentration and breathing deeply and thinking about how I was made to do this.  But pushing?  Worst thing ever.  If someone could have given me magic pain pills at this point I totally would have been board.  Natural childbirth out the window.  It was just awful.  Once his head starting coming out it was the most horrible thing ever and Ruth was trying to get me to slow down so I wouldn't tear but after one contraction, while I was in the rest period in between of 30 or so seconds, I told Spencer I want this baby OUT!!  And on the second contraction I pushed till I felt like I was dying and he came flying out!  I about pushed the midwife off the bed I pushed so hard according to Spencer, although I don't remember that I just remember thinking hallelujah it's over!  His official birth time was 9:25 pm.  Less than five hours since we had left the birth center the first time.  So my labor was labeled as precipitous, which for a first time mom pretty much never happens.

Okay maybe this was the semi short version :).

Ha this blog post was almost finished and then Noah woke up and needed to eat.  Such is life now :).