Last Night

So last night we were about to fall asleep, and we hear this popping noise, like someone dropping something on the floor over and over.  It was pretty loud and sounded like it was coming from the attic so I'm a little creeped out and make Spencer get up to check what it was.  So I'm laying in bed wondering if I forgot to lock the doors and I hear Spencer laughing!

We have mice.  I already knew this and had bought traps yesterday but hadn't put them out yet and apparently our friendly mice had found the bowl of dove chocolates up on top of the end table and were throwing them off the side of the table and dragging them back across the room to their home in the fireplace cracks.  Seriously?!

So beware our chocolate bowl, you may find one the mouse thought was a tasty snack :).

I guess it's just more motivation for us to get on the healthy eating kick a little early.  More on that later, but I'll just leave you with this:

Noah thought my kale leaves were so cool he ripped them up.

6 Months In

Well it's already been a few weeks since the official half a year mark, but we've been flying about the country, so I haven't had much time to sit and think.  I did write a journal entry for Noah's six month self while sitting at Starbucks but instead of him peacefully sleeping through it while I spent 45 minutes drinking a sugary latte and waiting for his six month doctor's appointment he woke up before I even had my drink in hand and spent the whole time flirting with everyone around us and grabbing at my drink and at my pen and at anything he could reach.  Thankfully he was happy, but it wasn't a very quiet environment for thinking about six months of life as his mom, or I should say six months of being his mom with him on the outside instead of on the inside.

So here goes some random thoughts on motherhood six months in.  Shannon, if you're reading this I hope this doesn't freak you out!

I think I would rather go through labor again than go through the first three months of barely sleeping again.  Granted I had a fast, "easy" labor (no it was not painless but I've heard so much worse of stories) and I had really hard go at breastfeeding and didn't even get the go ahead to let Noah sleep more than three hours at time till he was almost 5 weeks old.  Also, I've never pulled an all nighter in my life and I hate late nights, so yeah not my favorite time.

I tried cloth diapering.  I wanted to keep doing it for the environment, for the costs savings, for the cuteness factor, for the hippie factor, for the yeah I'm one of those weirdo factor.  I decided I'm too much of an efficiency person to make it work for me.  I only have to change a disposable once every four or five hours.  Noah peed through a cloth diaper and any clothes he was wearing in two hours (on a good day).  I got tired of getting pee on myself. Sorry, probably TMI :).

I thought making baby food was going to be alot of work, and I wasn't sure I was going to keep up with it.  I really like making his food!  And it's really easy.  And all it takes is very minimal (I'm talking remembering to buy produce at the grocery store which I should be doing anyway) planning.  I think that'll be something I stick with.

I may never get to sleep past 6:45 am again.  Okay maybe a bit of an exaggeration but even Noah does sleep till seven I've been waking up on my own out of habit.  Welcome to adulthood?  Only like 7 years too late haha.

One of the hardest things about being a mom so far has been a weird guilt complex I have when I leave Noah and don't miss him.  At first it was just for an hour or two but more recently it's been for bigger chunks of time or even for an overnight with the grandparents.  I mean I'm glad to see him again the next day, but I really don't miss him while he's not there.  I don't miss the constant obligations.  I don't miss the 6:30 alarm clock.  I don't miss the four hour I need feeding reminders.  But, then I feel guilty because I think man Noah is such an easy happy baby and I don't even miss him that must make me a horrible mom, or even worse just a horrible person.  My logical brain reminds me that's a ridiculous conclusion but the feeling is still there sometimes.  Also sometimes I forget I have a kid, but that's a whole different thing haha.

Spencer and I are a little afraid that someday when we have another kid (hopefully) we are going to think he/she is clinically depressed. Noah is pretty much always smiling. Really always.  Unless you want him to take a nap when a party is happening.  Then he's screaming.  But as soon as you bring him back to the party he's smiling again.  I mean I have no idea how he got that personality with Spencer and I as his parents ;).

Being a mom can be really lonely.  I listen to alot of podcasts.

Being new parents makes it hard to communicate graciously about how the new life (the new baby and your new life because of it) is driving you a little bonkers.  Okay somedays it's alot bonkers.

Mom coffee dates are like an oasis in a desert.

Running to bad pop music with Noah in my B.O.B. craiglist's find stroller makes me so much happier.

Baby smiles are amazing.

Baby giggles are even more amazing.

Babies are worth it.

Make that a baby is worth it.  I'm so not ready for number two.  Maybe someday . . .

This was not staged.

Winter is Coming

Sunset was 5:21 pm last night.  That depresses me.  I've been trying not to think about it, but every night I feel like all my creative juices get sapped right as it gets dark, and I can't think of anything to do but watch netflix or read a book or bake something sweet.  I know, I know those things sound so relaxing.  And they were pretty relaxing after a day in the office.  The problem is I spend all day with a small human that can't really interact so doing something else passive all night just makes me feel like I spend all day in solitude.  Plus I'm still trying to look decent in my pre baby wardrobe, so baking every night is out for the timing being.  Goodness, I should have labeled this post "don't read if you are on the verge of a bad mood" haha.

I have been trying to soak up as much sun as I can while it's still warm during the day.  I've been running at riverside with Noah (I made it 4 1/2 miles yesterday and only had to stop to tie my shoe!) and sitting on the porch blogging or pinteresting and driving with the windows down and walking around Utica at lunch, but then as soon as 5:00 rolls around I feel depressed.  I think it's also because alot of the things Spencer and I like to do together that we can also do with Noah were outside and now it's dark before he even gets home and unwinds from the office.  So, ready set go!! What are you favorite indoor, winter activities that don't involve eating pumpkin muffins and hot chocolate every night?!!  Don't get me wrong if you want to eat pumpkin muffins with me let me know and we'll fit it in :).

Also, this week I backed into our neighbor's trailer wheel well and put the first little scratch and dent on the back of my car.  I feel so dumb about it too.  I have a backup cam that beeps at me louder and louder as I get close to stuff and I was just so distracted from a screaming Noah and being late to a bday dinner that I didn't even hear it.  So yeah sadness.  It's really barely noticeable it's just the principle that now I messed it up.

Also, Noah's been waking up again in the middle of the night after almost three months of sleeping through the night.  And this time he's screaming bloody murder.  Multiple times a night.  And it's not because he's hungry.  I thought bad dreams, but google says that isn't till they are 3 or 4 and that it's more likely his schedule is off (thank you time change) or he's about to have a developmental leap.  So I'm going to try and be strict about his schedule for the next week (at least until we go to West Coast time for vacation and mess him up again haha) and watch for him to start walking and talking . . . okay, okay maybe crawling :).  He did learn how to knock over blocks today.  He's a good little destructive male baby already haha.  I didn't even have to show him, he just immediately knocked them over.

On a positive note I found out my car has a heated steering wheel.  Yes I know completely unnecessary and completely awesome.

Bible study today was on Justification, how our salvation is secure and no failure of ours can change that.  We are righteous before God.  Now if only I could remember that and stop freaking out about the weather!?!!!?

Let's see what else.  I'm making my first roast in the oven tonight.  I'm going to Arkansas tomorrow to hike with my sister.   We leave for San Diego in less than a week.  Noah always smiles and right now he's happily laying on his owl mat on the front porch table fully entertained by the fact that he can actually make his hands do things like open and close or grab his toes. Our gate is almost fully operational.  Now I want to watch Star Wars . . .

For the record, I'm really glad I didn't have a newborn in winter.  

Sunday Afternoon

I feel like I have a bunch of random things going through my head right now - like a bunch of mini life updates haha.

It's beautiful outside right now.  After I had a mini freak out about winter coming and spent a few days in a depressed "I hate winter funk", I realized that between 90 degree sunshine and 30 degree gloominess there are quite a few glorious fall days in Oklahoma.  Seriously guys I want to say I hate winter, but I know that's a bit extreme.  That's how I feel most days in winter though.  One bright side of this working from home/staying at home mom thing is I actually can go running at 3 in the afternoon or sit out on my porch and play with Noah at 9 am and enjoy the few hours of sunlight that do exist in winter.

Okay honestly there are a lot of bright sides to the current set up.  Let's just say working 12 hours a week is pretty ideal.  Noah and I have settled into a nice little routine.  Most days I get up and feed Noah and we lay in bed with Spencer for a bit making faces and laughing at how ridiculous Noah can be.  First thing in the morning is his most smiley, animated time (sorry Spencer I think he got his mom's morning genes haha).  Then we get dressed, I eat some breakfast and then we head off to Topeca for a latte and to show off Noah's smiley face to the baristas.  They love him so much it's ridiculous.  And yes I wasn't kidding when I said I went back to work so I could get lattes everyday :).  After that it's Noah's naptime and I sit in my little home office in the back room and work away till he starts crying.  Then it's lunch time, another nap time/work time and then it's the gym or right now running at riverside since I'm trying to soak up every last hour of nice sunshine weather I can get.  

I ran my first 5k race this weekend since having Noah!  And honestly my first 5k race since senior year of high school.  It was slow, but I didn't stop to walk and I pulled out the I love running fast genes for the last 200 or so yards and beat a bunch of the other slowpokes right at the end :).  Also, I got a free lululemon jacket for running with Spencer's work, so honestly I would have done the run for the jacket but the sense of accomplishment was nice too haha.  I'm still no where near wanting to sign up for anything longer than a 5k but even that has been a long time coming so I'm a little proud of myself in case you can't tell ;).

We're installing the gate opener finally!  Spencer can stop parking his BMW on the street every night.  And we can stop having our beat up '91 Ford F150 be the only vehicle inside our nice fence haha.

Noah is hilarious.  He's starting rolling over in his crib during the night and the last few mornings when I go into get him he's been on his stomach pushing up like he's trying to learn upward dog or cobra.  Who am I kidding, he can already do it better than me.  Dang baby flexibility haha.  He's also getting more hair.  Still no verdict on whether or not it will be curly but it still looks pretty blonde.  He's also on to sweet potatoes which he loved (first was zucchini, then green beans and next on the list is avocado).

Okay well we're off to see Spencer's poppa and then the World Series game 4!!  I think this might be the night I cave and make nachos . . .  you can't go the whole post season without a nacho night!!!

Also, two and a half weeks till San Diego! And the beach!  And the most expensive but apparently awesome zoo every.  And hopefully cute coffee shops.  And an awesome fire place in the condo I found.  And hopefully a baby that decides he can quickly adjust to west coast time either that or those cute coffee shops better open at 5 am ;).

Michigan via the iPhone

So Michigan was amazingly restful.  And beautiful. And I feel like the pictures speak for themselves - at least mostly.  In case you can't tell from the pictures, Noah was a traveling champ.  He slept through the night, flirted with everyone we saw, tolerated the pumpkin hat, was flexible with his naps, and barely cried on the airplanes.  I think Ireland is totally doable . . .

Lake Huron at sunset

Lake Huron in the sun

My lovely traveling buddies

Noah before we found him an appropriately sized hat

Sometimes this was where nap time happened

 Mackinac Island!! And Noah's first bike ride!!

An apple orchard we went to near the cabin.  I bought that giant apple for 50 cents and thought I had died and gone to heaven.

I love him.

Even when he does occasionally throw a tantrum in the car and gives me the sad eyes ;)

Pretty Big Deal

Noah is four months old as of Saturday. We've decided to keep him.  I've also decided this is officially the end of ever telling anyone how many weeks old he is.  We have graduated to half months at least ;).

I can button my skinny jeans.  I also ran a 5k on the treadmill today without stopping.  I seriously thought about stopping but then I put on my awesome MKTO pandora station and gutted through the annoying I hate running feeling that comes a little after you finish mile 2.

Just in case you were worried, my skinny jeans fitting is not the pretty big deal :).

Noah was baptized this Sunday!!!  He already was a covenant babe, but now he has an official church record showing that we know he's already a sinner and that he needs Jesus as much as his parents do and that we resolve to pray with him and for him and dedicate him to the Lord.  Oh and that the whole congregation resolves to help us raise him which is pretty amazing.  He's so loved already and he doesn't even know it.  Also swearing to pray for your baby is a little intimidating.  Good thing we have a whole lifetime to become more diligent.

We sang The Love of Christ is Rich and Free earlier in the service and it kind of blew my mind when thinking about it in the context of baptism and of setting apart our little man for Jesus, so here you go, just in case you needed a reminder of the promise that we are held in his love and always have been.

"The Love of Christ is rich and free; 

Fixed on his own eternally; 

Nor earth, nor hell can it remove; 

long as he lives his own he'll love.

His loving heart engaged to be;

Their everlasting surety;

'Twas love that took their cause in hand;

And love maintains it to the end.

Love cannot from its post withdraw;

Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law;

Can turn this surety's heart away;

He'll love his own till endless day

Love has redeemed his sheep with blood;

And love will bring them save to God;

Love calls them all from death to life;

And love will finish all their strife.

He loves through every changing scene;

Nor aught from him can Zion wean;

Not all the wanderings of her heart;

Can make his love for her depart.

At death beyond the grave we'll sing;

In endless love his own shall prove;

The blazing glories of that love;

Which never shall from them remove;

Which never shall from them remove."

Also, baby suspenders are awesome.

Well, Well, Well Lookie Here

I did it.  I stopped chickening out (after lots of pep talks - you know who you are, thanks) and asked my work about doing part time from home.

And I'm starting Monday.  Nothing huge, just 10 to 15 hours a week but I am pumped!! And a little bit overwhelmed which is making me laugh because this is exactly what my ideal situation was in my head.   But, after having almost four months of a very unpredictable schedule or no schedule at all the idea of having a set schedule for a lot of the week is a bit intimidating. Who am I kidding though? I've been getting so stir crazy and basically been making up a schedule in my head so that I don't go totally insane, so I think this will be perfect.  I'm sure there will be days Noah doesn't nap when I think he's going to or when I have something else that needs to be done and I end up doing an hour at night while Spencer follows his fantasy team or watches Netflix, but I think overall it will be really, really nice. Now I just need to finish painting the dining room, so I can put everything back up on the shelves and clean off the desk in the back room so I have a spot to focus. Side perk of this part time thing: I can get a few more lattes in the month :).

I went to a morning ladies' Bible study yesterday for the first time.  I think it's going to be really good for me.  Confession: I'm really not good at being in large groups of women.  I'm getting better, but I'm so used to the man filled world of engineering that I get a little overwhelmed by forty women and hundreds of kids (only slight exaggeration) and lots of talk about babies and lactating and baking and potty training and a parking lot of SUV's and minivans.  It's a whole new world that makes me want to run and hide sometimes.  But these ladies really love Jesus and they really love each other and me and that makes it seem way less scary.  Although I did throw a little mini fit in my head when they asked us to introduce ourselves, say who our husbands are and what they do.  (Yes Alisha that was for you haha).  After that it was tell the group two small joys you have (and we were not allowed to say our husbands, our kids or reading the Bible oh how I love you Bianca).  Can you guess mine?  Spencer got them :).

Lattes: check
Power yoga: check

If I could add a third it would be opening the giant sun roof and putting my "mom car" in sport mode and blazing people, but somehow that didn't seem appropriate for Bible study ;).  Yes I still do this with Noah in the car.

Speaking of power yoga, I'm off to try my first rock and roll yoga since having the little buddy!!  Hope I don't pass out . . .  :)